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Friday, December 9, 2011

Deserving

Today's discussion on A Practical Wedding is stirring things up for me.  It's about whether we DESERVE to be a bride.  While I've moved past the bridal thing (thank God), I still get stuck on whether I deserve things -- deserve to be the center of attention, deserve an excellent career requiring ambition and drive, deserve to take public risks long before a reward is visible, deserve to speak truth to power and stand up for myself.  One commenter hit the nail on the head and said that the discussion is really about how women manage shame.  Hmm, very interesting.  Shame is such a strong word. 

I'm sick of walking on eggshells.  I'm sick of being so muddled with insecurities that I can't even discern what my dreams are for myself (contemplating a career move but - to what? how? and how do you know that's what you really want?). 


Mystery readers, have you always felt you deserved XYZ, or is it a struggle?  Do you think it's related to shame? 

2 comments:

  1. so so so much to say.
    I'll go with ditto. ditto. ditto.

    The idea of "deserving" consumed me during much of my wedding planning. And many choices after.

    Luckily, much has subsided. And, I will try not to pass it on to my daughters.

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  2. Good point about not passing it on!

    ReplyDelete