Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The story we tell ourselves

Last night I was watching a kind of cheesy Oprah network show about the motivational speaker/life coach Tony Robbins trying to change this guy's life in 30 days.  He kept demanding that the guy stop telling himself the story he was telling himself about who he is and how he got in this situation (the guy blamed an old coach for his problems).  In the 30 days, he abandoned the old story.  He had to accept that his situation was his own fault and that it was up to him to change it.

Then he was GIVEN a job and a role as a coach, which was his dream.  Given!  So he never had to do the work of reaching out, facing rejection, and making those connections for himself.  The networking and putting yourself out there can be the very hardest part of realizing your dream.  It bugged me that this show makes it seem like it will just happen for you if you stop telling yourself the wrong story.  I know I would thrive in my career if given some help opening doors, or if given some opportunities.  I have that faith in myself.  The problem is I have no idea how to open the doors or get to the opportunities.

I try to network.  My network seems to also be struggling, and has no access to opportunities.  Does any one talk about class divisions in networking?  When your network is a mix of middle class and blue collar and low-income, what if networking gets you nowhere?  The poor guy on the show networked with a freakin celebrity life coach, and he got hooked up quite nicely after shedding some tears on the guy's TV show.   

Stories are powerful.  It made me ask, what is the story I am telling myself?  About my health, I too often tell myself the story that I am a woman with endometriosis, an incurable disease that makes it sooooo much harder to be healthy and thin and have a good attitude and stay on top of my life in many ways.  This story perpetuates my crappy attitude and laziness.  There is a bit of truth in it - endo does make you more tired, and it is hard to do all the things when you're in pain.  But I guess I should look out for not letting the morsel of truth keep me from realizing my dreams of health, etc.  It would be better to overcome/ignore the morsel of truth and achieve health rather than clinging to/serving the morsel of truth in some teen rebellion way to shove it in the face of the world like, "See?  See!  This hurts and it sucks and you don't have this and I do and it makes everything harder!"  Ugh, victim mentality!  It may have part of my body, but I don't want the endo to take over my whole attitude.

So, if you can't tell, I am attempting to be on a health kick (again) and try to foster (again) an uncharacteristically optimistic rah-rah attitude.  I was up in the middle of the night unable to sleep due to being sore from my exercise - but that's a good thing, right?  Yay.  yay.  Having to learn the lesson over and over and over again that good things don't happen without pain and sacrifice. 

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